Demoralizing Children and Adults

Demoralizing Children and Adults

Beth Corbin

 

De·mor·al·ize:

1.  Cause (someone) to lose confidence or hope; discourage, dispirit

2. Undermine the confidence or morale of; dishearten

3.  Put into disorder; confuse, or upset the normal functioning of

4.  Debase or weaken the morals of; corrupt.

 

What causes a normal, mentally balanced, mature adult to be demoralized? 

 

I posted the definition of demoralize above.  I was recently accused of demoralizing someone when I told them the truth about the nature of their habits.  Then they wanted to sling mud to make up the difference (sad)… but it did get me thinking about the topic.

 

Can a person be demoralized if they are a normal, mentally balanced, mature adult?  Can it happen over night, in one day, one month?  The answer is No. 

 

Demoralization takes repetitiveness in a relationship, such as the workforce boss, a mentally abusive marriage partner, and is often used as a form of “control” in those types of situations.   

 

The people at high risk of falling into this category of being demoralized are people who suffer from psychosocial factors that seem to be involved; like major life stresses, especially separations, losses, and people fighting depression.  People who are already unbalanced mentally or emotionally in some way; do fall into this trap. 

 

Many times the person accusing you of demoralizing them is the one who is “controlling” you or the situation to try and “guilt” you into feeling sorry for them.  There are many people out there that play the victim role and use this tactic.

 

You have authority over yourself, always!  You choose if you are demoralized or not.

 

Children:

More commonly adults can demoralize children; if they are not careful.  Children are still finding their balance in discovering who they are, learning, growing, and are mentally vulnerable.

 

Set proper or realistic expectations, teach your child to set goals, speak encouragement by being specific and using descriptive words about the positives they are doing, teach him/her to do their own positive assessment of themselves, and encourage your child to be resilient by teaching them to solve their own problems and focus on their own strengths, and understanding that mistakes are a normal part of life and are a good thing as long as we are learning a lesson from them to better our self for the next time.

 

You can also support your child’s interests and challenge them to try.  The key is the child knows they always have choices and consequences to the choices they make.  They have authority over what they choose and need to accept the consequence of that choice. 

 

It's not as easy as it sounds and there are outside factors that will influence your children; if all goes well and they grow into a well-rounded, mentally balanced, mature adult… Woo Hoo!