Top Complaints in Men/Women

I didn't right these 2 articles; found it on the eharmony website, has many insights I am sure you can identify with or learn from; so I thought I'd share:

Men's Ten Complaints About Women
by Grant Langston, Sr Director, Content
You see us as projects you can "fix" (1/10)You meet us. You like us. You date us. You marry us. And somewhere along the way it might seem that you love us just as we are, but rarely does it work out that way. Women see potential. They see rough edges, and they want to sand them off. This makes us crazy. We don’t want to change. We have chosen our car, hair, friends, home and hobbies because we enjoy them. The knowledge that you are thinking, “If he could only….” is a deeply disturbing thought, and perhaps more sinister is the idea that this behavior is so common that even if you aren’t the kind of woman who wants change, we expect that you do and are only biding your time.
Your expectations are set by Hollywood and sky high (2/10) Hollywood strikes again. I have a buddy that has plans to attend a Nicholas Sparks book signing so he can tell the man to KNOCK IT OFF! Most women know at an intellectual level that their man isn’t going to be like George Clooney, or Brad Pitt or that Italian guy from Under the Tuscan Sun, but in their heart they want it. They’ve been fed a fantasy about romance and passion for so long that when a REAL act of love comes down the pike, he notices that the tread on your tires is low and buys a new set, it hardly even registers.
You're always looking down the road (3/10) Women tend to think about the next major step in life. Men tend to think about the next major meal. Certainly part of this is driven by biology. A 34-year-old single woman who wants to have children has to think about the future. She has to think about finding a quality partner, where they are going to live, is there enough room for the baby in the study? A 34-year-old single man has far less interest in planning or pushing towards some future major life goal. This difference in priorities often leaves women in the unpleasant position of saying, “next,” “next,” “next” when it comes to relationship events. There is a female drive to get answers to questions like, “What ARE we?”, “Are we exclusive yet?”, “Are we going to get married?” that makes it seem like they aren’t enjoying the now and only worry about the future.
You use your emotions as a weapon (4/10) You don’t mean to. I suppose it isn’t your fault that during an important conversation about the future of our relationship you start crying, but surely you understand that this derails the ability to pursue the issue at hand. You’ve, essentially, played a kind of trump card. If we continue to advocate our side, we’re bullies. If we give in, we’re weak.
You have a tendency to be critical (5/10) I’ve tried to avoid the word n-a-g, but there seems to be some internal mechanism that makes women predisposed to criticism, in the same way that men are predisposed to seek their man cave. It’s almost a cliché -- the wife that complains and makes demands, and the husband that just wants to be left alone to watch TV or work out in the garage.
You like to play coy (6/10) If you like us, let us know. If you don’t, let us go. This game where you pretend you don’t care and secretly hope we chase you down is for teenagers. You think men like the chase? Perhaps. You think we like guessing whether we’re wasting our time? No.
You fixate on what we’re thinking, when you should be watching what we’re doing (7/10) You ask, “What are you thinking?” and we say, “Nothing.” You figure this must be a lie, and decide that we aren’t willing to communicate with you. The problem is, this is the wrong question to ask. We’re action-oriented. You don’t need to ask what we’re thinking, just watch what we’re doing. Coming home late every night? We’re not happy at home. Uninterested in sex, probably; crushed by stress. Not calling you back even though we said, “I love you?” We don’t love you. You can save the questions about musings until you see a change in our behavior. That’s the surest sign that something needs to be discussed.
You don’t understand and/or like our need for alone time (8/10) This often expresses itself with regard to hobbies. Say a man likes to play golf and has played for years. Many a man has gotten into a relationship only to have the woman complain about the time he spends playing golf. She’s jealous of this time. Of course, if she loves him she should know that he NEEDS this time on the golf course. It’s his passion. It’s his release. Without it he will burn up with anxiety and frustration over life’s little indignities. Why does she get involved with a man who has a hobby she doesn’t like?
You have a complicated set of double standards (9/10) I could write a novel on this one. We only need look at the example of going dutch on a first date. You offer to split the check, and if we let you, you hold it against us. Really? You demand, quite rightly, to be in on all important relationship decisions, yet when we take you out and ask, “What would you like to do tonight?” you are angry that we haven’t taken charge of the situation. It’s a confusing set of double standards and antiquated rules that make it very difficult for us to know which move is the right one.
You want us to change, and then lose respect for us when we do. (10/10) It’s an interesting phenomenon. When a man and a woman get together it is likely that he will have some hobbies, tendencies, or habits that she doesn’t like. For instance, I have a friend that met and married a woman who wasn’t thrilled that he played in a band. She was a bit threatened by the attention he received and his time spent pursuing this. She told him, “I really wish you didn’t play in this band,” and because he loved her, he quit. Within a few months this woman was confiding to her friends, “I’m a little less attracted to him because he quit the band, and just did what I asked. Now, he just hangs out at home.” It’s a specific example, but a common problem. Clearly, the man should do what he feels he has to do, but we try to be accommodating, and to have that count against us is infuriating.

Women's Ten Biggest Complaints About Men
by Jeannie Assimos, Managing Editor, Content
Women's Ten Biggest Complaints About Men (1/11) Guys, we love and adore you, but there are certain things about you that drive us crazy! Here, we share women’s biggest gripes about the men they love. Our hope is you’ll learn a little, all the while remembering that we truly appreciate many of your other fine qualities (and don’t worry, we’ve got a men’s biggest complaints article about women being written as we type).
All Talk and No Action (2/11) No, we’re not talking about bedroom behavior. What many women have an issue with is men who SAY they are going to do something, but don’t follow through. Some good examples include telling her you will call -- and not picking up the phone. An even better example is telling a woman you are ready for a relationship, but your actions completely prove otherwise. Guys, be honest about who you are and where you are in life, and we’ll respect that a lot more.
You’re Dishonest About What You Want (3/11) This meshes well with point one, and deserves further explanation because this is really one of the biggest complaints we see from women about men. You tell a woman you are truly ready for commitment, pursue her … and then freak out. OR you have past entanglements (like that darn ex), which are really holding you back from being available for a relationship. Women would appreciate it so much more if men could be genuine with themselves and their partners about exactly what they want. We don’t want to get invested in you if you aren’t worth the time.
The Mama’s Boy (4/11) We are happy that you have a great relationship with your mother, but we don’t want to date your mother! Meddling mama’s can be a huge problem in a relationship, and even a deal breaker for many. Guys, it is important to set boundaries with your family and don’t let mom interfere in your life. It’s also important that you strive for balance in your romantic relationships, because women, as a rule, don’t want to play mama. Childish does not equal attractive.
The Bump on a Log (5/11) We saw this complaint a lot – guys who are no fun, uptight, dull, take no initiative to plan any dates, or who never have any ideas about where to go for dinner, vacations, activities, etc. If you are like this, it’s time to wake up and find your passion. Put a little energy into your relationship. Boring equals D.O.A in the dating world.
The Ogle-Master (6/11) You may think you are being slick, but we caught you glancing at the hot chick as she passed by. We completely get that you are a visual creature – but it is really hurtful if we are out with you and you can’t stop scoping out the brunette at the table next to us. Many women complained about this behavior, saying it truly bothered them and even ruined the entire evening. Practicing a little self restraint in this area will earn you major points.
Too Much Boy, Not Enough Man (7/11) At some point it’s time to grow up -- and ditch the Billabong t-shirts, guys. It drives women crazy when they have to remind their men to dress like a grown up and more importantly, act like one. There is definitely a time and place for having fun and being childlike, but the refusal to grow up and be responsible is a very tough pill to swallow for most women, who do want a mature or at least a maturing man with some sense of direction.
It’s All About You (8/11) Women want you to take an interest in them, to pay attention to things they like, and to WANT to know what is going on in their lives. A big complaint about some guys is that they just aren’t thoughtful and are downright self-absorbed, not concerned with their partners wants or needs. As we all know, for a relationship to be successful, both people must give of themselves.
Mr. Angry/Possessive (9/11) It is really hard to be around this personality type – for anyone! Women definitely do not like when a man treats them like a possession and not a person. Avoid things like checking up on your woman constantly, questioning her friendships with other men or women, or telling her what she can and can’t do. The same goes for the guy who just seems angry at the world, and has his girlfriend walking around on eggshells. Nice will get you a lot further than nasty, guys.
Too Much, Too Soon (10/11) On the opposite end of the commitment-phobe is the guy who actually talks marriage on a first, second or third date! Numerous women in the Advice community said their dates came on way too strong, invaded their personal space and raised serious red flags in the process. Demanding and overbearing were common complaints from women dealing with this issue.
He’s Way Too Comfortable (11/11) We’ll end on an easy-to-fix issue … the man who gets so comfy with his relationship that he lets it all hang out! Guys, close the bathroom door (and put down the toilet seat), put a little effort into your appearance (yes, that means showering and shaving before we go out) and keep on impressing us with your romantic gestures -- just like you did when we first started dating.

Week 6: ADD 9 fruit/Vegies to your life daily

WEEK 6: 1. ADD 9 fruit/Vegies to your life daily: You can truly eat all the fresh fruit and vegetable you can possibly stand and stay lean. It is Ideal to eat 5-9 servings of vegetables and fruit a day. Have you tried it? It is hard to get all that in! Why the fluctuation in 5-9, our bodies are all different shapes, sizes, and ages. Older or inactive women and smaller children need at least three servings of vegetables and two servings of fruit. Growing kids, teen girls, most men and active women would eat at least four servings of vegetables and three servings of fruit everyday. Teen boys and active men should eat at least five servings of vegetables and four servings of fruit.
A serving size of fruit or vegetable is equal to about one-half cup. Greens like spinach and lettuce have a serving size equal to one full cup. One serving of sliced fruit is equal to one-half cup; however a single piece of fruit, such as an apple or an orange counts as one serving…
Example: Fruits: one banana, six strawberries, two plums, fifteen grapes, one apple, one peach, one-half cup of orange or other fruit juice…
Vegetables: five broccoli florets, ten baby carrots, one tomato, 3/4 cup tomato juice, half of a baked sweet potato, one ear of corn, four slices of an onion…

I will sometime make a smoothie in the evening to get the rest of mine in a day and just drink it, for a snack.
Go to http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/ for a calculator to see how many is good for you.
It may take all summer to get these in your system; it’s worth the try.

Week 5 Healthier Life Style Program

Week 5: 1. Delete Soft drinks or soda pop, and delete artificial sweetener from your life: I’d rather see someone drinking a regular pop than a diet one. In my opinion, artificial sweeteners are very bad for you as most synthetic things are not good for your body. It is always better to go as natural as possible when putting stuff in the body. In a nutshell: Your brain really doesn’t know the difference between sugar and artificial sweetener… it just says, “Here comes sweet,” and pumps out insulin to compensate. So now you have this insulin sitting there and nothing to go to… which can lead to many upsets in the body causing imbalance. High blood levels of insulin can cause obesity, heart attacks, high-blood pressure and cholesterol levels. It is believed by many experts in the field, insulin makes you hungry, causing you to eat more food causes your liver to convert extra calories to fat and causes your fat cells to store more fat. The extra fat in your body causes plaques to form in your arteries, stiffening them and causing your blood pressure to rise and can increase your chances of getting a heart attack and stroke. The good news is you can reduce blood insulin levels, by eating less junk food, less fat, more fiber, more natural fruit and vegies and exercising more (30 minutes daily).

Afraid to Eat Out because it will blow your diet? Try these tips:

* Eat early, eat often. Remember this old saying: breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, dinner like a pauper. Starting your day with a healthy breakfast, can jump-start your metabolism. Likewise, “grazing” on healthful snacks like fruits, veggies and protein-packed almonds, and eating 6 small, healthful meals throughout the day, rather than the standard 3 large ones, can help keep your metabolism going and ward off snack attacks.
* Be extra careful when eating out. No matter how healthy your diet, you need to eat less to lose weight. This means practicing portion control. At restaurants, eat only half your meal and take the rest home. It’s fine to ask for the to-go box when your meal arrives, and divide it in the beginning so you won’t be tempted to over do it. Also watch out for condiments, dressings, soft drinks, and sweet tea which are common culprits for hidden calories.
* Good Choices when eating out. Look for "heart healthy" symbols on the menu. Ask for calorie and fat information on menu items. If you ask, chefs will often make low-fat entrees using low-cholesterol eggs or lean cuts of meat. You can ask for: skinless chicken, no butter on a particular dish, broiled instead of fried, and your sauces to be served on the side. There are some restaurants that let you order smaller portions at lower prices. When my mother and I eat at Red Lobster (for example) we order off the fresh catch or chef special menu. They usually have grilled salmon or grilled trout with broccoli, salad, and a side. We order the lunch portion…
* Look for key words when thinking Healthy eating: Baked, broiled, poached, grilled, raw, and fresh, steamed, tossed, whole-grain, plain, stewed, roasted, and lean.
* Eat Slowly. Savor what you eat…really think about the flavors. Before you even order think about what tastes you are in the mood for, so you can be better satisfied at the end of the meal. If you are craving something…get it, and eat it in moderation.
* Share your food. I really like to eat with my Mom as we always split and share one meal and ask for two plates. If you’re not eating with a partner or s/he doesn’t like to share food try another idea. Have the waiter bring a doggie bag with the meal and split it up immediately so you don’t start “talking” and forget what your eating…causing “pig-out.”

Week 4 Healthier Life Style

Week 4: 1. Add Fish Oil and Calcium with magnesium to your life. We need omega 3 fatty acids in our body; which means we should eat fish 3 times a week. Since most of us don’t do that we need to add the fish oil in the form of a supplement. Omega-3 fatty acids decrease risk of arrhythmias (abnormal heartbeats), which can lead to sudden death. Omega-3 fatty acids also decrease triglyceride levels, slow growth rate of atherosclerotic plaque, and lower blood pressure (slightly). Ideally 1-2 grams a day is the amount of fish oil for optimum health.
Calcium is for the health of your bones and teeth, but it also affects your muscles, hormones, nerve function, and ability to form blood clots. Plus, research has suggested that calcium may play a role in warding off other problems like PMS, high blood pressure, cancer, and even weight gain. The recommended daily intake of calcium is 1,000 to 1,300 milligrams per day for people ages 9 and up. Calcium supplements work better if you take it in smaller doses 2-3 times a day and get the kind with magnesium so it is absorbed by the body better.
2. Delete fried foods from your life: The consumption of trans fats increases the risk of coronary heart disease by raising levels of "bad" LDL cholesterol and lowering levels of "good" HDL cholesterol. Health authorities worldwide recommend that consumption of trans-fat be reduced to trace amounts. Trans- fats from partially hydrogenated oils are harmful, so think of fried food as a splurge and eat only in moderation.
3. Delete nicotine from your life: Nicotine causes a short-term increase in blood pressure, heart rate and the flow of blood from the heart. It also causes the arteries to narrow. The smoke includes carbon monoxide, which reduces the amount of oxygen the blood can carry. This, combined with the nicotine effects, creates an imbalance between the demand for oxygen by the cells and the amount of oxygen the blood can supply.

Week 3 Healthier Lifestyle

Week 3: Cut refined salt out of your lifestyle; add unrefined sea salt: 1. Add ¼ teaspoons or less to each quart of water you drink per day. We all know already that our body is 75% water; this water contained in all of our tissues, cells, blood, etc. is a salty water solution, very similar to the seawater. Sea salt obtained from solar evaporation of sea water is entirely different from modern refined salt, and it contains a variety of minerals that play a role in keeping the body's electrolytes in a healthy balance. Unfortunately, the common table salt, we use today is primarily kiln-dried sodium chloride with anti-caking agents added. Trace minerals, as well as calcium, magnesium and potassium salts are removed in processing. Kiln-drying involves scorching salt at high heat to remove moisture. This refining process creates a product that is unnatural and hard on the body. It is the true culprit that contributes to high blood pressure, heart trouble, kidney disease and eczema, among other problems. If you buy a water filter for your faucet and add sea salt, there is really no need for bottled water at all.
2. Add walking to your routine: Start slow and easy. If you're a seasoned walker, keep doing what you're doing. If you've been inactive and tire easily, it's best to start slow and easy. At first, walk only as far or as fast as you find comfortable. If you can walk for only a few minutes, let that be your starting point. For example, you might try short daily sessions of five to 10 minutes and slowly build up to 15 minutes twice a week. Then, over several weeks' time, you can gradually work your way up to 30 to 60 minutes of walking most days each week. Don’t worry about the amount of miles; let your focus be minutes of time.

Healthier Lifestyle Program:

Some of you know I went to University of Kentucky (back in the old days) for food and nutrition and became/worked as a Nutritionist at Tri-County Hospital for years before going into the education, and counseling fields.

I have started a Healthier Lifestyle Program for the faculty and staff at work. All of us want to be the best God has made in us… If we are healthier, we are happier, and better at everything we do. It is completely on a voluntary basis, and as with any new program you start, you may want to check with your doctor if anything may be questionable with medications you are on.

Healthier Lifestyle Program:
Each week I will send an e-mail with a suggestion of something to add or delete from your lifestyle. You start by trying to do it for a week, the next week I will add or delete something else. You will continue each week doing what was said the week before and adding/deleting from that…
There may be times when we go for multiple weeks before adding or deleting, depending on the feedback I am getting. The goal is to have overall better health as a whole. So, if you can’t do everything all the way each week… that’s o.k. Do as much as you can do, as that will be better than where you were before. Even if a couple of small changes become a good habit, we will be better for it.

Week 1: 1. Start listening/paying attention to your body’s needs: Drink when you are thirsty; eat when you are hungry; stop when you are full. Rest/sleep when you are tired. This will make it less likely that you just eat out of boredom or nervousness.
2. Start taking a multi-vitamin at the same time each day: it can even be 2 children’s chewable vitamins a days, which are better for you if you have any stomach issues anyway.

Week 2: 1. Go to bed early: A lack of sleep throws appetite hormones into gimme-more mode. Poor sleep also affects blood sugar and insulin levels in a way that can increase the risk of excessive weight gain. Your goal: 7 to 8 hours of nightly shut-eye, day in and day out.

2. Cut down your dinners out at Restaurants: Your higher content meals should be as early in the day as possible, so try going out for lunch instead of dinner. In studies, eating just one restaurant meal per week in the evening, made people gain weight by 50 percent. Preparing meals at home allows you to control fat, sugar, and salt content -- and lets you know exactly what you're eating.

3. Eat Breakfast every morning: You are breaking the fast from going without food from overnight. Eating breakfast prevents you from bottoming out and getting too hungry gives you a mental advantage throughout the day. When you start off your day, your body needs fuel. “Glycogen stores start to deplete if you haven’t had any food, by lunch you’ll start to feel fatigued, you’re more vulnerable to cravings and less likely to make healthy choices in the morning and throughout the day.