Teaching, Counseling, and Nutrition

Help the Children after the Divorce! By Elizabeth Corbin

2012-01-16T15:36:00.000-05:00

Let the divorce be final and allow the children the benefit of two households, two sets of parties, two sets of families, etc. That is one of the benefits for divorced kids and they look forward to it; don’t come together and combine their parties, spend time sitting and having dinner at your ex-wife’s house, or having a “family” night when you are no longer a family. It may save you money but it racks havoc on the children’s emotional well-being. Children always hope their biological parents will reunite and they can all be one big happy family, so every time you come together you are giving them a false hope.

In my practice I see so many kiddos after holidays, birthdays, and family days who are disappointed and it takes weeks of strategies to help them recover and cope from well meaning parents who for whatever reason feel they need to keep some string attached to their ex-spouse.

I have seen several possible reasons parents choose to do this to their kids/families: 1. Romanticism- just like wanting the children to believe in Santa as long as you can, because it is cute or fun for you; you are the one not wanting to completely let go of the past and move forward. 2. Guilt- not wanting to believe everything has changed and you may have been the cause of it, or you let the kids down by not holding the marriage together, etc. 3. Immaturity- Adults that haven’t matured past a certain level; wanting to appear they are doing this for the kids. 4. Passive- The parent that goes along with whatever the controlling parent says for fear of causing added drama.

Once a family is split, they need to remain split unless mom and dad have decided to be a couple again and really work on being one productive unit. Once the divorce is final you are not “one unit” any longer; are two. There is nothing wrong with living as two units and showing the kids they can enjoy some benefits of having two families… I would not advise a man to go to his ex-wife’s house or her family for any gatherings, nor would I advise a woman to go to her ex-husband’s for the kid’s birthday party. It is far better for a child to have a birthday or Christmas at each house.

So what if one parent makes more money than the other and you can’t offer to spoil the child as much as your ex-spouse? Communication is the key and if you are upfront and honest about communicating things, and you have raised a mature individual in your child s/he will eventually see and understand you did the best you could with what you had for his/her well-being.

It takes weeks to help a child recover and learn coping strategies from disappointment on high hopes parents will reconsolidate every time they see those two spend time together.

In addition to all the disappointment you cause the children by trying to combine things, you also create a barrier for the new relationship in your life; that’s if you have someone. You may not be able to keep a new relationship going if you spend your time at your ex-spouses place. Most people will be happy for you allowing them to be part of your family as long as you are not dragging the baggage of their biological mother/father along with you.

"Dating," Women attracting Men

2011-10-15T12:07:00.000-04:00

I found this article that was good about dating. I need to add my two cents to this of course:

First, Most of these women in the article were in their twenties and thirties and so many of them really are not looking for their penguin yet and are still interested in not being settled down. I say this because when you get into your forties and over, many of life's changes are happening to you. Thus, being truly ready to settle down; does not mean you have to "settle." If he has some characteristics that really bother you, don't go down that road.

Secondly, when I was taught the ways of the women for my culture, it was nut-shelled as this: Have a genuine respect for the other woman. If he has a woman in his life such as girlfriend, wife, live-in... Then stay away from him in any romantic way and don't allow that door to be opened between the two of you. If all women would do this, there would be no cheating or worry of cheating.

Thirdly, if you are a person who has had an affair off and on for 17 years with the same person and they are married, you obviously have an emotional attachment to that person. Meaning you are stuck in that immature relationship because of issues you have not dealt with in your life. Do yourself a favor, break the ties, and close all doors to that person; never letting them in again, and get counseling to sever those soul ties! You are the only one who can change yourself, and if you keep opened doors to your weaknesses, a new woman is not going to want to start off in a negative way with ladies of your past!
~by Elizabeth Corbin

Here’s the article that sparked all that:

By Kenrya Rankin Naasel, Glamour magazine

Attracting guys has never been a problem for Julie Wilson, 34. The Greensboro, North Carolina, native has been proposed to an astonishing four times. “My friends can’t understand why even so-called players want to run down the aisle with me,” she says. “And they keep calling me long after the relationship ends.” Wilson’s fantastic, but so are plenty of other girls—so what is it about women like her that men just can’t resist? What do they know that the rest of us don’t? We present to you: their secrets! Soak ‘em in, then do some super-attracting of your own.

Go Out Looking for a Good Time—Not Your Future Husband
Super-attractor Rule No. 1: Don’t go hunting. “Too many girls focus on meeting The One when they should be looking for a tasty drink and a fun night out,” says Amber Kallor, a 26-year-old in New York City who’s known for getting guys of all stripes—hipsters, bankers, sailors, you name it—hopelessly hooked. “When you’re out seeking your ‘penguin’—you know, because penguins mate for life—men sense that, and no guy wants or needs that kind of pressure.” Adam LoDolce, a Boston-based dating coach and author of Being Alone Sucks!: How to Build Self-Esteem, Confidence and Social Freedom to Transform Your Dating and Social Life (cheesy title, solid advice), agrees. “There’s nothing more appealing than the girl who carries herself like she’s having a good time,” he says. “Who wouldn’t want to be around her?” So buy your own martini, and enjoy yourself. That’s penguin bait.

Never Bash Other Women
Another insight man magnets share: Being catty will get you nowhere with guys. Men want to know that you’re confident. “Think about it: If you two start dating, he has a mom, sisters and female friends he’ll want you to spend time with,” says Marie Salazar, 29, a marketer from San Francisco whose male buddies are all in love with her (or so say her annoyed girl-friends). “Showing a guy that it won’t be a nightmare to bring you to a family dinner is a good first step.” Philadelphian Meredith Klein, 23, sums it up this way: “Someone else’s strengths don’t make you look bad—but being jealous and insecure does.”

Be Easy
We’re not talking Jersey Shore easy; we’re talking easygoing. Guys are drawn to girls they can picture having fun with in either a dive bar or a schmancy restaurant. “Men appreciate that I can hang with their friends, kill it at a work event and chill at home,” says New Yorker LaNora Williams-Clark, 32, who has been single for a total of three months since she started dating more than 15 years ago. “It boils down to charm and an ability to roll with the punches.

Don’t Dress for Girls
The super-trendy stuff you’d wear to impress your friends often leaves men cold. Guys Glamour spoke to gave the thumbs-down to maxidresses (“They cover too much skin,” says Rob, 38), rompers (“How do you even pee?” asks Thomas, 36) and harem pants (“MC Hammer is calling,” quips Kyle, 30). But you don’t have to squeeze into a Kardashidress to get his attention, either. What’s universally sexy, according to men? A woman in a white tee, cute-butt jeans and a pair of heels. Done and done.

Be (Genuinely) Busy
This trick’s not about playing hard to get; it’s about having so much great stuff going on in your world that he wants to be a part of it. “Women who are genuinely busy feel more fulfilled, are happier and are more confident—three powerful magnets for attracting men,” says Angelica Perez-Litwin, Ph.D., a Nyack, New York, psychologist and relationship counselor. Says Mickelle Jackson, 30, a school administrator from Trenton, New Jersey, who’s had more than a few male friends confess romantic feelings: “If a man has to choose between a clingy beauty and an unavailable average girl, he will choose average every time.”

Two Words: No Bitching
When your crazy boss is blowing up your iPhone after hours and your sister is insisting you wear pistachio-and-melon-striped chiffon to her wedding, it can be easy to slip into a monologue about why life sucks. Don’t! “It makes you look like a drama queen, and if there’s one thing all guys hate, it’s drama,” says Christina Nguyen, a 31-year-old from Minneapolis who’s been told her fun-loving attitude makes her memorable. LoDolce agrees: “It’s impossible to flirt if you’re complaining.”

Let Him See Your Ambitious Side
It’s a corollary of “be busy”: Guys like women who have passions in life, so show yours! “When my husband and I were dating, he would always tell me how much my ambition inspired him to be better,” says Jessica Guberman, 34, a vice president of marketing and development for a national nonprofit in Princeton, New -Jersey. For Alexa Carlin, 20, of Wellington, Florida, fulfilling her dream of running her own fashion company caused a noticeable spike in male attention: “Girls who are motivated to accomplish their dreams show drive and determination—guys love those qualities.” Sharing your goals up front also affects the type of guy you attract. “High-quality men are drawn to ambitious women,” LoDolce believes. “I hate when women worry about intimidating men. If a guy is intimidated by you, he doesn’t deserve you.” Amen to that.

Be the Person You Want to Date
Sounds simple, but you can’t seek a man who is secure, self-assured and emotionally evolved if you’re not all of those things yourself. It’s basic relationship karma! “If you wouldn’t want to date yourself, then how can you expect someone else to want to date you?” says Lina Shivangi, a 31-year-old marketing director from Austin, Texas. Nadarah Butler, 31, a doctor living in Los Angeles who has never gone more than a year without a serious boyfriend, agrees: “If you haven’t figured out who you are yet, you can’t possibly know what you want in a guy.”

Week 7 - Healthier Lifestyle Program... FIBER!

2011-06-09T19:20:00.000-04:00

Week 7: Add Fiber to your lifestyle. Remember we are adding and deleting things in our life to better our health, and we’ve already added the fruits and vegetables; there is more health to fiber than just fruits and veggies.

There are two types of fiber: Soluble (dissolves to form a gel in your system and is needed to lower blood cholesterol and glucose levels), and Insoluble (pushes what you’ve eaten through the digestive tract).

Why Fiber? It plays a role in preventing disease in your intestines, colon, rectum, and bowel, and keeping your GI Tract healthy is important because it is one of the main systems; it has to do with absorbing nutrients throughout your physical body.

Men should intake 30-38 grams, and women should intake 21-25 grams of fiber a day. Increase fiber in your diet gradually over a period of a few weeks so the natural bacteria in your digestive system will adjust to the change, and drink plenty of water. If you do it all at once you will bloat and be gassy.

Whole foods such as the following are the best because the fiber pills and supplements won’t have the nutrients:
• Grains and whole-grain products
• Fruits
• Vegetables
• Beans, peas and other legumes
• Nuts and seeds
;-)

Top Complaints in Men/Women

2011-06-09T18:37:00.000-04:00

I didn't right these 2 articles; found it on the eharmony website, has many insights I am sure you can identify with or learn from; so I thought I'd share:

Men's Ten Complaints About Women
by Grant Langston, Sr Director, Content
You see us as projects you can "fix" (1/10)You meet us. You like us. You date us. You marry us. And somewhere along the way it might seem that you love us just as we are, but rarely does it work out that way. Women see potential. They see rough edges, and they want to sand them off. This makes us crazy. We don’t want to change. We have chosen our car, hair, friends, home and hobbies because we enjoy them. The knowledge that you are thinking, “If he could only….” is a deeply disturbing thought, and perhaps more sinister is the idea that this behavior is so common that even if you aren’t the kind of woman who wants change, we expect that you do and are only biding your time.
Your expectations are set by Hollywood and sky high (2/10) Hollywood strikes again. I have a buddy that has plans to attend a Nicholas Sparks book signing so he can tell the man to KNOCK IT OFF! Most women know at an intellectual level that their man isn’t going to be like George Clooney, or Brad Pitt or that Italian guy from Under the Tuscan Sun, but in their heart they want it. They’ve been fed a fantasy about romance and passion for so long that when a REAL act of love comes down the pike, he notices that the tread on your tires is low and buys a new set, it hardly even registers.
You're always looking down the road (3/10) Women tend to think about the next major step in life. Men tend to think about the next major meal. Certainly part of this is driven by biology. A 34-year-old single woman who wants to have children has to think about the future. She has to think about finding a quality partner, where they are going to live, is there enough room for the baby in the study? A 34-year-old single man has far less interest in planning or pushing towards some future major life goal. This difference in priorities often leaves women in the unpleasant position of saying, “next,” “next,” “next” when it comes to relationship events. There is a female drive to get answers to questions like, “What ARE we?”, “Are we exclusive yet?”, “Are we going to get married?” that makes it seem like they aren’t enjoying the now and only worry about the future.
You use your emotions as a weapon (4/10) You don’t mean to. I suppose it isn’t your fault that during an important conversation about the future of our relationship you start crying, but surely you understand that this derails the ability to pursue the issue at hand. You’ve, essentially, played a kind of trump card. If we continue to advocate our side, we’re bullies. If we give in, we’re weak.
You have a tendency to be critical (5/10) I’ve tried to avoid the word n-a-g, but there seems to be some internal mechanism that makes women predisposed to criticism, in the same way that men are predisposed to seek their man cave. It’s almost a cliché -- the wife that complains and makes demands, and the husband that just wants to be left alone to watch TV or work out in the garage.
You like to play coy (6/10) If you like us, let us know. If you don’t, let us go. This game where you pretend you don’t care and secretly hope we chase you down is for teenagers. You think men like the chase? Perhaps. You think we like guessing whether we’re wasting our time? No.
You fixate on what we’re thinking, when you should be watching what we’re doing (7/10) You ask, “What are you thinking?” and we say, “Nothing.” You figure this must be a lie, and decide that we aren’t willing to communicate with you. The problem is, this is the wrong question to ask. We’re action-oriented. You don’t need to ask what we’re thinking, just watch what we’re doing. Coming home late every night? We’re not happy at home. Uninterested in sex, probably; crushed by stress. Not calling you back even though we said, “I love you?” We don’t love you. You can save the questions about musings until you see a change in our behavior. That’s the surest sign that something needs to be discussed.
You don’t understand and/or like our need for alone time (8/10) This often expresses itself with regard to hobbies. Say a man likes to play golf and has played for years. Many a man has gotten into a relationship only to have the woman complain about the time he spends playing golf. She’s jealous of this time. Of course, if she loves him she should know that he NEEDS this time on the golf course. It’s his passion. It’s his release. Without it he will burn up with anxiety and frustration over life’s little indignities. Why does she get involved with a man who has a hobby she doesn’t like?
You have a complicated set of double standards (9/10) I could write a novel on this one. We only need look at the example of going dutch on a first date. You offer to split the check, and if we let you, you hold it against us. Really? You demand, quite rightly, to be in on all important relationship decisions, yet when we take you out and ask, “What would you like to do tonight?” you are angry that we haven’t taken charge of the situation. It’s a confusing set of double standards and antiquated rules that make it very difficult for us to know which move is the right one.
You want us to change, and then lose respect for us when we do. (10/10) It’s an interesting phenomenon. When a man and a woman get together it is likely that he will have some hobbies, tendencies, or habits that she doesn’t like. For instance, I have a friend that met and married a woman who wasn’t thrilled that he played in a band. She was a bit threatened by the attention he received and his time spent pursuing this. She told him, “I really wish you didn’t play in this band,” and because he loved her, he quit. Within a few months this woman was confiding to her friends, “I’m a little less attracted to him because he quit the band, and just did what I asked. Now, he just hangs out at home.” It’s a specific example, but a common problem. Clearly, the man should do what he feels he has to do, but we try to be accommodating, and to have that count against us is infuriating.

Women's Ten Biggest Complaints About Men
by Jeannie Assimos, Managing Editor, Content
Women's Ten Biggest Complaints About Men (1/11) Guys, we love and adore you, but there are certain things about you that drive us crazy! Here, we share women’s biggest gripes about the men they love. Our hope is you’ll learn a little, all the while remembering that we truly appreciate many of your other fine qualities (and don’t worry, we’ve got a men’s biggest complaints article about women being written as we type).
All Talk and No Action (2/11) No, we’re not talking about bedroom behavior. What many women have an issue with is men who SAY they are going to do something, but don’t follow through. Some good examples include telling her you will call -- and not picking up the phone. An even better example is telling a woman you are ready for a relationship, but your actions completely prove otherwise. Guys, be honest about who you are and where you are in life, and we’ll respect that a lot more.
You’re Dishonest About What You Want (3/11) This meshes well with point one, and deserves further explanation because this is really one of the biggest complaints we see from women about men. You tell a woman you are truly ready for commitment, pursue her … and then freak out. OR you have past entanglements (like that darn ex), which are really holding you back from being available for a relationship. Women would appreciate it so much more if men could be genuine with themselves and their partners about exactly what they want. We don’t want to get invested in you if you aren’t worth the time.
The Mama’s Boy (4/11) We are happy that you have a great relationship with your mother, but we don’t want to date your mother! Meddling mama’s can be a huge problem in a relationship, and even a deal breaker for many. Guys, it is important to set boundaries with your family and don’t let mom interfere in your life. It’s also important that you strive for balance in your romantic relationships, because women, as a rule, don’t want to play mama. Childish does not equal attractive.
The Bump on a Log (5/11) We saw this complaint a lot – guys who are no fun, uptight, dull, take no initiative to plan any dates, or who never have any ideas about where to go for dinner, vacations, activities, etc. If you are like this, it’s time to wake up and find your passion. Put a little energy into your relationship. Boring equals D.O.A in the dating world.
The Ogle-Master (6/11) You may think you are being slick, but we caught you glancing at the hot chick as she passed by. We completely get that you are a visual creature – but it is really hurtful if we are out with you and you can’t stop scoping out the brunette at the table next to us. Many women complained about this behavior, saying it truly bothered them and even ruined the entire evening. Practicing a little self restraint in this area will earn you major points.
Too Much Boy, Not Enough Man (7/11) At some point it’s time to grow up -- and ditch the Billabong t-shirts, guys. It drives women crazy when they have to remind their men to dress like a grown up and more importantly, act like one. There is definitely a time and place for having fun and being childlike, but the refusal to grow up and be responsible is a very tough pill to swallow for most women, who do want a mature or at least a maturing man with some sense of direction.
It’s All About You (8/11) Women want you to take an interest in them, to pay attention to things they like, and to WANT to know what is going on in their lives. A big complaint about some guys is that they just aren’t thoughtful and are downright self-absorbed, not concerned with their partners wants or needs. As we all know, for a relationship to be successful, both people must give of themselves.
Mr. Angry/Possessive (9/11) It is really hard to be around this personality type – for anyone! Women definitely do not like when a man treats them like a possession and not a person. Avoid things like checking up on your woman constantly, questioning her friendships with other men or women, or telling her what she can and can’t do. The same goes for the guy who just seems angry at the world, and has his girlfriend walking around on eggshells. Nice will get you a lot further than nasty, guys.
Too Much, Too Soon (10/11) On the opposite end of the commitment-phobe is the guy who actually talks marriage on a first, second or third date! Numerous women in the Advice community said their dates came on way too strong, invaded their personal space and raised serious red flags in the process. Demanding and overbearing were common complaints from women dealing with this issue.
He’s Way Too Comfortable (11/11) We’ll end on an easy-to-fix issue … the man who gets so comfy with his relationship that he lets it all hang out! Guys, close the bathroom door (and put down the toilet seat), put a little effort into your appearance (yes, that means showering and shaving before we go out) and keep on impressing us with your romantic gestures -- just like you did when we first started dating.

Week 6: ADD 9 fruit/Vegies to your life daily

2011-05-26T19:23:00.002-04:00

WEEK 6: 1. ADD 9 fruit/Vegies to your life daily: You can truly eat all the fresh fruit and vegetable you can possibly stand and stay lean. It is Ideal to eat 5-9 servings of vegetables and fruit a day. Have you tried it? It is hard to get all that in! Why the fluctuation in 5-9, our bodies are all different shapes, sizes, and ages. Older or inactive women and smaller children need at least three servings of vegetables and two servings of fruit. Growing kids, teen girls, most men and active women would eat at least four servings of vegetables and three servings of fruit everyday. Teen boys and active men should eat at least five servings of vegetables and four servings of fruit.
A serving size of fruit or vegetable is equal to about one-half cup. Greens like spinach and lettuce have a serving size equal to one full cup. One serving of sliced fruit is equal to one-half cup; however a single piece of fruit, such as an apple or an orange counts as one serving…
Example: Fruits: one banana, six strawberries, two plums, fifteen grapes, one apple, one peach, one-half cup of orange or other fruit juice…
Vegetables: five broccoli florets, ten baby carrots, one tomato, 3/4 cup tomato juice, half of a baked sweet potato, one ear of corn, four slices of an onion…

I will sometime make a smoothie in the evening to get the rest of mine in a day and just drink it, for a snack.
Go to http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/ for a calculator to see how many is good for you.
It may take all summer to get these in your system; it’s worth the try.

Week 5 Healthier Life Style Program

2011-05-26T18:19:00.000-04:00

Week 5: 1. Delete Soft drinks or soda pop, and delete artificial sweetener from your life: I’d rather see someone drinking a regular pop than a diet one. In my opinion, artificial sweeteners are very bad for you as most synthetic things are not good for your body. It is always better to go as natural as possible when putting stuff in the body. In a nutshell: Your brain really doesn’t know the difference between sugar and artificial sweetener… it just says, “Here comes sweet,” and pumps out insulin to compensate. So now you have this insulin sitting there and nothing to go to… which can lead to many upsets in the body causing imbalance. High blood levels of insulin can cause obesity, heart attacks, high-blood pressure and cholesterol levels. It is believed by many experts in the field, insulin makes you hungry, causing you to eat more food causes your liver to convert extra calories to fat and causes your fat cells to store more fat. The extra fat in your body causes plaques to form in your arteries, stiffening them and causing your blood pressure to rise and can increase your chances of getting a heart attack and stroke. The good news is you can reduce blood insulin levels, by eating less junk food, less fat, more fiber, more natural fruit and vegies and exercising more (30 minutes daily).

Afraid to Eat Out because it will blow your diet? Try these tips:

2011-04-25T20:49:00.001-04:00

* Eat early, eat often. Remember this old saying: breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, dinner like a pauper. Starting your day with a healthy breakfast, can jump-start your metabolism. Likewise, “grazing” on healthful snacks like fruits, veggies and protein-packed almonds, and eating 6 small, healthful meals throughout the day, rather than the standard 3 large ones, can help keep your metabolism going and ward off snack attacks.
* Be extra careful when eating out. No matter how healthy your diet, you need to eat less to lose weight. This means practicing portion control. At restaurants, eat only half your meal and take the rest home. It’s fine to ask for the to-go box when your meal arrives, and divide it in the beginning so you won’t be tempted to over do it. Also watch out for condiments, dressings, soft drinks, and sweet tea which are common culprits for hidden calories.
* Good Choices when eating out. Look for "heart healthy" symbols on the menu. Ask for calorie and fat information on menu items. If you ask, chefs will often make low-fat entrees using low-cholesterol eggs or lean cuts of meat. You can ask for: skinless chicken, no butter on a particular dish, broiled instead of fried, and your sauces to be served on the side. There are some restaurants that let you order smaller portions at lower prices. When my mother and I eat at Red Lobster (for example) we order off the fresh catch or chef special menu. They usually have grilled salmon or grilled trout with broccoli, salad, and a side. We order the lunch portion…
* Look for key words when thinking Healthy eating: Baked, broiled, poached, grilled, raw, and fresh, steamed, tossed, whole-grain, plain, stewed, roasted, and lean.
* Eat Slowly. Savor what you eat…really think about the flavors. Before you even order think about what tastes you are in the mood for, so you can be better satisfied at the end of the meal. If you are craving something…get it, and eat it in moderation.
* Share your food. I really like to eat with my Mom as we always split and share one meal and ask for two plates. If you’re not eating with a partner or s/he doesn’t like to share food try another idea. Have the waiter bring a doggie bag with the meal and split it up immediately so you don’t start “talking” and forget what your eating…causing “pig-out.”

Week 4 Healthier Life Style

2011-04-25T20:41:00.000-04:00

Week 4: 1. Add Fish Oil and Calcium with magnesium to your life. We need omega 3 fatty acids in our body; which means we should eat fish 3 times a week. Since most of us don’t do that we need to add the fish oil in the form of a supplement. Omega-3 fatty acids decrease risk of arrhythmias (abnormal heartbeats), which can lead to sudden death. Omega-3 fatty acids also decrease triglyceride levels, slow growth rate of atherosclerotic plaque, and lower blood pressure (slightly). Ideally 1-2 grams a day is the amount of fish oil for optimum health.
Calcium is for the health of your bones and teeth, but it also affects your muscles, hormones, nerve function, and ability to form blood clots. Plus, research has suggested that calcium may play a role in warding off other problems like PMS, high blood pressure, cancer, and even weight gain. The recommended daily intake of calcium is 1,000 to 1,300 milligrams per day for people ages 9 and up. Calcium supplements work better if you take it in smaller doses 2-3 times a day and get the kind with magnesium so it is absorbed by the body better.
2. Delete fried foods from your life: The consumption of trans fats increases the risk of coronary heart disease by raising levels of "bad" LDL cholesterol and lowering levels of "good" HDL cholesterol. Health authorities worldwide recommend that consumption of trans-fat be reduced to trace amounts. Trans- fats from partially hydrogenated oils are harmful, so think of fried food as a splurge and eat only in moderation.
3. Delete nicotine from your life: Nicotine causes a short-term increase in blood pressure, heart rate and the flow of blood from the heart. It also causes the arteries to narrow. The smoke includes carbon monoxide, which reduces the amount of oxygen the blood can carry. This, combined with the nicotine effects, creates an imbalance between the demand for oxygen by the cells and the amount of oxygen the blood can supply.

Week 3 Healthier Lifestyle

2011-03-28T10:42:00.000-04:00

Week 3: Cut refined salt out of your lifestyle; add unrefined sea salt: 1. Add ¼ teaspoons or less to each quart of water you drink per day. We all know already that our body is 75% water; this water contained in all of our tissues, cells, blood, etc. is a salty water solution, very similar to the seawater. Sea salt obtained from solar evaporation of sea water is entirely different from modern refined salt, and it contains a variety of minerals that play a role in keeping the body's electrolytes in a healthy balance. Unfortunately, the common table salt, we use today is primarily kiln-dried sodium chloride with anti-caking agents added. Trace minerals, as well as calcium, magnesium and potassium salts are removed in processing. Kiln-drying involves scorching salt at high heat to remove moisture. This refining process creates a product that is unnatural and hard on the body. It is the true culprit that contributes to high blood pressure, heart trouble, kidney disease and eczema, among other problems. If you buy a water filter for your faucet and add sea salt, there is really no need for bottled water at all.
2. Add walking to your routine: Start slow and easy. If you're a seasoned walker, keep doing what you're doing. If you've been inactive and tire easily, it's best to start slow and easy. At first, walk only as far or as fast as you find comfortable. If you can walk for only a few minutes, let that be your starting point. For example, you might try short daily sessions of five to 10 minutes and slowly build up to 15 minutes twice a week. Then, over several weeks' time, you can gradually work your way up to 30 to 60 minutes of walking most days each week. Don’t worry about the amount of miles; let your focus be minutes of time.

Healthier Lifestyle Program:

2011-03-24T20:11:00.001-04:00

Some of you know I went to University of Kentucky (back in the old days) for food and nutrition and became/worked as a Nutritionist at Tri-County Hospital for years before going into the education, and counseling fields.

I have started a Healthier Lifestyle Program for the faculty and staff at work. All of us want to be the best God has made in us… If we are healthier, we are happier, and better at everything we do. It is completely on a voluntary basis, and as with any new program you start, you may want to check with your doctor if anything may be questionable with medications you are on.

Healthier Lifestyle Program:
Each week I will send an e-mail with a suggestion of something to add or delete from your lifestyle. You start by trying to do it for a week, the next week I will add or delete something else. You will continue each week doing what was said the week before and adding/deleting from that…
There may be times when we go for multiple weeks before adding or deleting, depending on the feedback I am getting. The goal is to have overall better health as a whole. So, if you can’t do everything all the way each week… that’s o.k. Do as much as you can do, as that will be better than where you were before. Even if a couple of small changes become a good habit, we will be better for it.

Week 1: 1. Start listening/paying attention to your body’s needs: Drink when you are thirsty; eat when you are hungry; stop when you are full. Rest/sleep when you are tired. This will make it less likely that you just eat out of boredom or nervousness.
2. Start taking a multi-vitamin at the same time each day: it can even be 2 children’s chewable vitamins a days, which are better for you if you have any stomach issues anyway.

Week 2: 1. Go to bed early: A lack of sleep throws appetite hormones into gimme-more mode. Poor sleep also affects blood sugar and insulin levels in a way that can increase the risk of excessive weight gain. Your goal: 7 to 8 hours of nightly shut-eye, day in and day out.

2. Cut down your dinners out at Restaurants: Your higher content meals should be as early in the day as possible, so try going out for lunch instead of dinner. In studies, eating just one restaurant meal per week in the evening, made people gain weight by 50 percent. Preparing meals at home allows you to control fat, sugar, and salt content -- and lets you know exactly what you're eating.

3. Eat Breakfast every morning: You are breaking the fast from going without food from overnight. Eating breakfast prevents you from bottoming out and getting too hungry gives you a mental advantage throughout the day. When you start off your day, your body needs fuel. “Glycogen stores start to deplete if you haven’t had any food, by lunch you’ll start to feel fatigued, you’re more vulnerable to cravings and less likely to make healthy choices in the morning and throughout the day.

2010-09-30T21:23:00.000-04:00

The science behind love at first sight
By Helen Fisher, Ph.D.

The science behind love at first sight
From the moment she set eyes on him, she adored him. Wanting only to be near him, to lavish her affection on him, she followed everywhere he went. The sound of his voice made her bark.

Bark? Novelist and animal behaviorist Elizabeth Marshall Thomas was describing her pug dog, Violet, who was in love with her other pug, Bingo.

Animals love. Animal literature is full of descriptions of love at first sight, actually. When Tia, a female elephant living in the Amboseli National Park in Kenya, came into heat (or estrus), she was followed by a coterie of young males. Tia would not cooperate. But the moment Bad Bull swaggered into view, head high, chin tucked in, ears intensely waving, trunk aloft, and doing his courtship strut, Tia changed her elephant mind. Holding her ears high in a pose meant to draw his attention, she stared at him with the prolonged “courting gaze,” then turned and began to move slowly away, glancing repeatedly to see if this mature male was following. Tia and Bad Bull remained inseparable for the duration of her estrus.

Instant attraction across the animal kingdom
Scientists and naturalists have recorded this instant attraction phenomenon in hundreds of species. Throatpatch and Priscilla, two orangutans; Alexander and Thalia, two baboons; Skipper and Laurel, two beavers; Misha and Maria, two Huskies; Satan and Miff, two chimps: these and many other creatures have taken an instant liking to one another. As Charles Darwin wrote of two ducks, “it was evidently a case of love at fist sight, for she swam about the newcomer caressingly… with overtures of affection.”

How we came to fall in love fast
You and I have inherited the brain circuitry for this instant attraction, what has become known as “love at first sight.” This spontaneous passion comes from our primordial past when, like other mammals, our female forebears had a monthly period of heat. Like all mammals that have only a few hours, days or weeks to procreate, these ancestors had to become attracted quickly. They couldn’t spend two months or two years discussing their suitor’s career and family plans. They had to meet and produce offspring fast.

Today, first meetings are still crucial. With little or no knowledge of this stranger, we tend to weigh heavily those few traits we first encounter. Based on these morsels of information, we almost instantly form a strong opinion of him or her, generally within the first three minutes. Thomas Jefferson fell in love with Maria Cosway in an afternoon, probably within minutes of meeting.

Who falls faster: the male or the female?
Indeed, men tend to fall in love faster than women do, probably because their brain circuitry for romantic love is more quickly triggered by visual cues. But any of us can walk into a crowded room, talk for only minutes with a someone new, and either feel that “chemistry” — or “know” there could be chemistry down the road.

But is this attraction love or lust? Actually, these feelings involve very different brain networks. You can have physical intimacy with someone you are not “in love” with, and you can be passionately in love with someone you have never kissed. But these brain circuits can trigger one another, leaving you wondering for a moment if your attraction is purely physical.

Can immediate attraction last?
You will know if your passion is love or lust with your answer to just one simple question: “What percentage of the day and night do you think about him or her?” Romantic love is an obsession. It can happen in a moment, but when it strikes, you can’t get your new beloved off your mind. And this instant passion can last — sometimes for many years.

“The loving are the daring,” wrote poet Bayard Taylor. We are all daring; we can’t help ourselves. Millions of years ago humanity evolved three powerful brain systems for courtship and reproduction: the libido, romantic attraction, and feelings of deep attachment. The libido evolved to drive us to reproduce with a range of partners, but romantic love evolved to enable us to focus our energy on just one, The One. This passion is intricately orchestrated, at least in part, by the activity of a powerful chemical, dopamine. And this potent brain circuit lies dormant in each of us, sleeping like a cat with one eye open, waiting for the right moment to erupt.

Indeed, feelings of intense romantic passion can awaken the first moment you see someone who fits within your mental concept of the perfect partner — love at first sight.

Helen Fisher, Ph.D., is research professor, Department of Anthropology at Columbia University; author of Why We Love; and is chief scientific advisor to www.chemistry.com.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.

Interested in taking Dr. Helen Fisher’s personality test? Visit Chemistry.com today!

I did not write this article, but this lady is right-on the mark, and I am speaking that from experience.

2010-03-26T17:13:00.002-04:00

5 Signs He’s Not the Guy For You
Is he committed to your relationship? Not if you’re seeing these red flags.
-Carolyn French

When it comes to relationships, the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, summed it up best. It all boils down to one very important thing: R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
As any good couples therapist will tell you, the “R-word” is crucial for a serious, committed relationship; without it, you’re on a dead-end road. How do you know which direction you’re headed in? When it comes right down to it, his actions almost always speak louder than his words.
Here, five signs your guy may not be in it for the long haul:
1. He’s not thinking about the future.
Planning ahead, or at least having some general goals, is the key to a stable and satisfying life, as well as a stable and satisfying relationship.
“Most people go into a relationship with some idea of what they want out of it,” explains Minneapolis-based relationship expert Cami Zimmer. “In order for a relationship to be satisfying, partners must set clear goals that both partners can agree on.”
And those goals don’t have to be all about you or the relationship to be illuminating. For example, if your guy doesn’t seem to care about finding or hanging onto a decent job, or has no clue about where he wants to be in 10 years, chances are a serious, long-term relationship isn’t on his to-do list, either.
2. He goes MIA on special occasions.
When you’re a couple, certain events — birthdays, anniversaries, career-related events — require extra attention.
It’s no secret that guys can be forgetful creatures (though ask any man when World Series tickets are going on sale and he’ll probably rattle off the exact time and date in two seconds flat), but you shouldn’t have to remind him twice when your birthday is – or worry that he won’t show up when he promised to escort you to a super important work event.
“Missing things every once in a while is fine, but when it happens all the time, it means that his priorities don't include you,” says Zimmer.
3. He enjoys keeping you guessing.
When it comes to being secure in your relationship, a little reassurance goes a long way. From offering up his plans without being asked, to calling just to say hi, sometimes it’s the simplest things that give us the most confidence in our significant other.
But if you find that you’re wondering what he’s up to on a regular basis — he gets vague whenever you ask, or you feel like you have to play 20 Questions just to get a straight answer — you’re probably right to start wondering just how far you can trust him.
“It’s not usually the big things that come between a couple and make closeness dissipate; it’s the lack of communication on the little things that build, getting bigger and bigger until the relationship starts to fizzle,” says Zimmer. “Relationships are all about give and take.”
4. His generosity — financially and otherwise — leaves a lot to be desired.
These days it’s usually a good sign when your guy is careful with his money. But there’s a big difference between cautious and stingy — especially when that stinginess seems to play a larger-than-life role in your relationship.
We all have different beliefs about money, but when you’re part of a couple it’s important to establish a healthy open dialogue regarding financial matters. If he doesn’t think twice about splurging on a fishing trip with the guys or buying himself that cool new gadget, but he regularly borrows your car without refilling the tank, or has to be coerced into taking you out to dinner at a nice restaurant, consider yourself warned: It’s time to talk — and maybe even walk.
“Money can't buy you love, but it sure can tear it apart,” says Zimmer. “Because talking about finances can be uncomfortable, many couples keep quiet about this important topic — which is a huge mistake.”
5. He prefers hanging out with his buddies.
Boys-only clubs typically lose their appeal by the age of 10. But straight males who insist on constantly running off with their male friends past the age of puberty are guaranteed to bring you heartache.
It’s healthy for men to want to occasionally spend time with their buddies, but when you find yourself left out in the cold on a regular basis, it’s hard not to feel like you’re competing for his attention.
“Give him an opportunity to explain himself and hear what he has to say,” proposes Zimmer. “Is it that the two of you don't have much in common? Suggest doing things together that he enjoys — or try to find some new common ground. But if it becomes clear that he’d rather be single and free than with you, it’s time to move on.”
Men can be fickle creatures, but don’t allow your feelings for them to overshadow what’s really going on. Take heed, and know when it’s time to let go.
Tell us: Do you find it hard to walk away from a bad relationship?
Carolyn French is an editorial assistant at BettyConfidential.

Thought you'd like this 6 Reasons We Love, good article by Eric J. Leech

2010-03-19T19:01:00.001-04:00

Thought you'd like this one too!

6 Reasons We Love Love
Its powers of strength
by Eric J. Leech

Love is no doubt one of the greatest feelings in the world, and if you have ever doubted its strengths, here are six reminders as to why it has been given such an important stature in our lives:

1. It Keeps Couples Faithful
While some may say love is blind, researchers at UCLA prefer to describe it as wearing blinders. The study looked at 120 heterosexual college students in a committed relationship. They were asked to describe their current relationship, and then rate a group of photos depicting very attractive members of the opposite sex. What they found was that students who described their relationship as loving, were six times less likely to rate a 'hottie' as attractive, and even more surprising, they seemed to pay more attention to the background of the photos, rather than the subject. Researchers think this could be related to our adaptation over the centuries to commit to one long-term partner, rather than straying as soon as the next best thing came along.

2. It Protects Our Hearts
Scientists at Yale University conducted a study surveying 119 men and 40 women, asking them about their current state of relationship and family, before being given a series of angiography (heart) tests. What researchers found was that participants who reported their lives as the most loving and supportive, were less likely to exhibit heart conditions (blockages, etc). While genetics, diet, and proper nutrition are undoubtedly important for maintaining a long, healthy life, it appears that maintaining strong intimate relationships may be just as important. If you (or a loved one) are currently suffering from a heart condition, perhaps it's time you look at your/their relationships for any sign of loneliness or social isolation.

3. It Protects Our Health
We've discussed how love effects the heart, but research also shows how much spending time with loved ones can affect our overall well-being. A study conducted by the University of Chicago, looked at the health of married, working men who either spent a lot of free time with their non-working wives, or had to juggle that time between her own full-time job. What was found was that men who enjoyed spending the most time with their wives, reported the best overall health. How much better? Research showed that men who spent significantly less time with their spouse saw their health drop about 25 percent below other men in the study. Is this study suggesting women shouldn't work? No. But it is saying we should prioritize whatever time we have to spend with our loved ones.

4. It Promotes Infinite Love
According to studies conducted at the U.C. Berkeley, sharing love with others makes us feel more loved through a chemical reaction in our brain. Whenever we smile, hug, or hold hands with a loved one, we are releasing the chemical oxytocin, which allows us the ability to connect with others on a very compassionate level. This connection makes it more likely we will continue to display this affection, thus perpetuating the shared feelings of love with those around us, over and over again. In other words, love others, and you will be loved.

5. It Is Important to Early Childhood Development
We have heard the importance of newborns being held and touched to survive, but many studies suggest that early moments of love and bonding between a newborn and mother decide a child's overall ability to love. Babies who do not experience a strong attachment to their mother within their first month or so, may be at a disadvantage in fostering a successful, loving relationship. Reason being, the connections in the brain and nervous system that enable us to love are developed early in life, so it is very important to give children lots of love now, so they can give and receive it later on. In addition, some research suggests that our first love experience shapes the way we look at love for the rest of our lives, or at least heavily influences it. So make your first one a good one.

6. It Is More Important Than Sex
Sex is not as big a part in relationships as some couples think. While some researchers claim love is nothing more than a sexual high stimulated by the release of chemicals in the brain, researchers at the University of New York claim that the brain indeed appears to perceive a difference between love and sex. Noting what portion of the brain was active when subjects were given a sexually stimulating photo, subjects were then given a photo of their partner, comparing the difference in brain activity. While a similar portion of the brain was activated while looking at a loved one, it was overlapped by an entirely different portion of the brain, suggesting a more complex (dare I say, important) connection. Love and romance indeed appear to be more important than some scientists give them credit for.

So let's hear it for love! It surrounds our lives, keeps us healthy, happy, faithful, protected, and able to connect and share this wonderful feeling with others. So, don't be stingy ... pass it on

2010-03-16T19:14:00.000-04:00

Thought you'd enjoy this article:
6 Signs you're in a healthy relationship
* by Brett Blumenthal - Sheer Balance, on Tue Mar 9, 2010 6:18am PST

Not long ago, I published an article about six qualities to admire in others, and the response was extraordinary. I prefaced the article by saying that the six I mentioned were by far not an exhaustive list, but included those traits that seemed especially hard to find. In reading all of the comments, however, I was inspired to write a follow-up list that covers some of the other qualities that I, as well as others, believe to be important when looking for friendships and relationships with others.

Our relationships are vital to our mental well-being. However, toxic relationships can really do a number on our happiness and outlook on life. As a result, it is important to look for individuals who possess qualities that allow for healthy relationships. Although, once again, not an exhaustive list, the qualities listed below are those that should be at the very heart of a healthy relationship. And, just as you would expect your friend, family member or loved one to display these qualities, it is just as important to reciprocate.

1. Loyalty: Whether it's in friendships or in family, loyalty is truly important to maintain a healthy relationship. All of us are guilty, at one time or another, of making mistakes, having ups and downs, and even displaying some behavior that we may not always be proud of. When we find friends or loved ones who can forgive us and stand by us…even during our worst moments…we should be especially grateful. That said, loyalty should never be taken for granted and we should always be deeply appreciative when it comes our way.
2. Respect: I once knew an individual who was very opinionated about political topics. She would talk down to people who disagreed with her and would be very disrespectful. Not only did she make people feel stomped on, but she left many disinterested in friendship. Treating others with kindness and the respect they deserve is important in gaining the respect that WE desire. It never feels good to be taken for granted, judged or used and it doesn’t feel good to be talked down to or treated rudely or inappropriately. There will be times that we may not always have full agreement with our friends or loved ones, but respecting them along the way is a must.
3. Unconditionally There: There is nothing worse than having someone always resurface in your life when they are in need, are looking for something or need a favor. In a culture of “you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours,” it is somewhat rare to find those “who just scratch your back,” period. Finding individuals who want you in their lives just because…and not because they want something in return is refreshing and worth holding on to. Those who are generous of heart are to be treasured!
4. Trustworthy: I once worked with a woman who, within my first week on the job, felt the need to tell me all of the intimate details of the various extra-marital affairs that had occurred with the management of the firm. She was supposedly friends with these people and I have no doubt, was told this information in the most strictest of confidences. How she felt it was appropriate to divulge this information to a new-hire like me, I still have no idea. But, it was her nature to gossip about everyone and everything. If you share something in confidence, you should be able to trust that the information will remain that way.
5. A Genuine Sounding Board: Taking a genuine interest in what others have to say and really listening to someone is important in developing solid relationships. Letting go of the “me, me, me” and focusing on the other person not only makes the other person feel valued and appreciated, but they feel that they can really talk to someone who cares. Those who take the time to really listen to our thoughts and feelings, and then help us work through difficult times and situations, share our lives at a much deeper level than those who don’t. These are individuals worth hanging on to.
6. Dependability: I had a friend who frequently would RSVP to small gatherings and then would never show. They never explained…never brought it up…and never apologized. Although this example is somewhat trivial, it still makes the point. Obviously there are times when things come up that prevent individuals from following through on what they promise, but if a friend, co-worker or family member perpetually drops the ball, they may be sending you a message. If a friend says they are going to do something or be somewhere, you should be able to count on them. And, in reciprocation, they you.

What traits do you look for in a friend or partner? Are your relationships healthy?

Stand By Me

2009-06-22T14:13:00.000-04:00

African thunderstorm

2009-06-22T13:26:00.002-04:00

Snack Tips for Children

2009-06-16T16:11:00.002-04:00

Snack Tips for Children:
• Plan snacks with your child and allow for some choices.
• When shopping, let children help pick out fruits, vegetables, and cheeses for snacks. They will be more interested in eating these foods if they have been involved in selecting them.
• Set aside a "snack spot" in the refrigerator and cupboard; keep it stocked with nutritious, ready-to-eat snacks. Then let your child pack their own snack for the day.
• Avoid high sugar, fatty and salty snacks.
• Plan snacks to help meet the suggested number of servings per day from the Food Guide Pyramid.
• Never offer junk food as a reward for good behavior.
• Ask your child if they see others eating snacks that they might like.
• Offer a special "surprise snack" once in a while.
• Write an "I love you" note and slip it into your child's snack bag!

Here are some quick and easy snack ideas for you to try. Enjoy!
• English muffin pizzas with pineapple or tomato slice, mushrooms, etc.
• Baked potatoes with chili beans or broccoli and cheese.
• Waffles topped with fresh fruit. Choose fruits that are in season.
• Tortillas and beans.
• Yogurt and fruit topped with cereal (yogurt sundaes).
• Raw vegetables cut into slices or sticks with a yogurt dip. (Mix your favorite dry salad dressing mix into plain yogurt to make a great tasting low-fat dip!)
• Trail mix made with several types of cereal, dried fruit and nuts or sunflower seeds.
• Yogurt grahams. (Spread fruit-flavored yogurt on a graham cracker square, top with a second square. Wrap in plastic wrap and freeze.)
There are a lot of old favorites like veggie sticks, fresh fruit, cheese cubes, crackers, and yogurt which make wonderful economical snacks. The following are also healthy snacks that are prepackaged and easy to pop into school lunch bags.

- breakfast bars
- mini rice cakes
- non-sugar coated cereals (corn bran, shreddies, mini wheats)
- mini bagels
- pretzels
- mini carrots with dip
- vegetable juice boxes
- salsa and crackers
- individual fruit cups
- individual applesauce
- fruit juice boxes
- bread sticks
- mini muffins
- popcorn (little or no butter)
- homemade Nuts & Bolts (see recipe below)
- cookies (graham wafers, Newton bars, animal crackers, oatmeal, social teas, arrowroot)

Meat and Alternatives/Milk Products
- sunflower/pumpkins seeds
- trail mix
- peanutbutter & crackers
- hummus
- mini cheese portions
- milk/milkshakes in drinking boxes
- individual puddings and yogurts
- yogurt beverages

Nuts & Bolts Recipe:
6 cups Crispex cereal
2 cups each Cheerios, Shreddies cereals and pretzels
1 cup sunflower seeds (optional)
4 tbsp. vegetable oil
8 tsp. any dry dressing or dip mix
In a large roast pan gently mix cereals, pretzels and sunflower seeds with oil until well coated. Bake at 250°F for 20 minutes stirring after 10 minutes. Remove from oven. Add the dry mix and stir until cereal is well coated with mix. Store in an airtight container.

Pizza/Best Choice
No extra cheese, ham instead of pepperoni or bacon, load up on veggies.

Sub Sandwiches/Best Choice
Whole wheat buns, plenty of vegetables, limited mayonnaise and special sauce, choose ham, turkey, roast beef most often.

Soups/Best Choice
Vegetable soups with lots of vegetables for fiber, dried beans for protein, pasta/rice for extra grains, cream soups made with milk. Serve with whole wheat rolls.

• Raw vegetables, such as celery, carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, green pepper, green beans, cucumbers, mushrooms or zucchini served with a low-fat dip.
• Fresh fruit in season - cut in slices or halves, such as apples, oranges, bananas, peaches, grapefruit, grapes, melons, pears, plums or strawberries.
• Low-fat quick breads and muffins, such as pumpkin, zucchini, banana or bran.
• Non-sugared cereals, snack mixes made with popcorn and whole grain cereal.
• Granola mixes
• Dried fruits
• Bagels
• Crackers with cheese
• Popcorn or pretzels
• Rice Cakes
• Yogurt
• Goldfish

Whose Job is it to Educate My Child?

2009-06-11T12:42:00.001-04:00

Whose job is it to educate my child?

MINE.

It has always been my job to educate my children. In the old days we parents had to educate our child in every way, all by ourselves.

Then in more recent times, the government gave the people a Free Appropriate Public Education which aided the parent in educating the child.

The purpose of the public education was to assist the parent in doing their job of educating their children, period.

However, just as all things in modern society… We the people thought we could put our job off on someone else. In this case the public school system.

We expect the public school to teach much more than academics to the children now. Schools must teach manners, respect, personal hygiene, nutrition, good sportsmanship, how to behave in public, etc.

The problem is that over the years we as parents have dumped all responsibility of educating our children on the public school system… and that really is a big problem as the public school system cannot handle/teach all the life skills that should be taught as well as the academic skills that were originally intended for the schools to teach.

If you work in the public school system, you hear a whole lot of complaining these days, about how the public school system has let their child down. The reality of it for those complainers is they let their own children down.

I am a grandparent, a teacher, and a counselor. I can guarantee you, if my daughter gripes about her child’s teacher or her school not doing their job year, after year, after year… I am going to tell her if she doesn’t like the results she needs to do something about changing the way she helps her child learn. A child will not receive bad teachers every year, and if you think they are you need to look at yourself; instead of passing the buck and blaming others.

Normal, healthy children, and on their correct grade level will learn no matter how great or how terrible you think a teacher may be. They are like sponges and will soak up everything.

However, if your child is not learning it is your job as the parents to notice and find out what you can do to help your child. Maybe s/he has a learning disability, or is not on her correct grade level.

Do the teachers try every year to retain him; you refuse saying it will hurt his feelings? Maybe you put him in school too early and his maturity is not where it should be academically. (There is a difference between academic immaturity and social immaturity; at times they do coincide with one another).

When your child is taking four hours every night to complete homework that his classmates finished in class, what are you doing? Do you sit with her/him and assist with the work and encourage them along, or are you off in the kitchen cooking supper, doing dishes, playing on the computer, and talking on the phone?

If I don’t have time and energy to help by sitting with my child or grandchild and figuring out the problem, then I will hire a tutor to aid in his/her studies. The tutor will give one-on-one attention and will see very quickly what someone trying to work with thirty can’t see immediately.

Chances are if your child can’t keep up they are in the wrong grade level, have attention problems or special needs that need addressed. Once the problem is discovered you can have some choices in solving the problem.

The person who gossips and complains to friends, co-workers, and family about how bad the teachers are, or how bad a school is will not solve the problem by “bad mouthing.” As always if you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.

Look at your life. Do both parents need to work to make ends meet; maybe you just have “wants?” Do the children really need cheerleading, girl scouts, football, and baseball… so you can’t afford a tutor? I guess we just have to weigh out our priorities.

Public School has never been the “do all right system,” and never will be. When I was a child my mother always supplemented our education making sure we were getting a well rounded education as she knew if we weren’t educated right she only had herself to blame.

Most teachers I know will be glad to assist you, if you are trying on your end. They will love your positive communication, and will welcome you in the classroom to help.

The key words here are the following: The public school system is offered to assist the parent in educating their child. After all who is really supposed to know your child if not you?

Part II Sweeteners

2009-05-15T23:03:00.000-04:00

Many people want to know what other artificial sweeteners they can safely use instead of aspartame. My first recommendation is NOT to use any chemical sweeteners at all, but merely use natural sugars or learn to adjust to the natural sweetness of raw foods themselves.
I have provided a list of alternative artificial sweeteners available on the market today, even though I am not recommending their use over natural sweeteners. I do recommend them above aspartame, nonetheless, as their side effects is less harmful to human health.
The best thing to do is avoid all artificial and chemical sweetener substitutes. They have NO food value, trick the body into thinking it is eating something sweet, and they have by-products of harmful toxic side effects. And remember that aspartame was discovered as an ulcer drug, not a sweetener. Every diet drink you used to drink was a dose of medAcesulfame K. http://www.sweetpoison.com
Acesulfame Potassium (K) was approved for use by the FDA as a safe artificial sweetener in July, l988. It is a derivative of acetoacetic acid. Unfortunately, several potential problems associated with the use of acesulfame have been raised. They are based largely on animal studies since testing on humans remains limited. The findings showed the following:
Acesulfame K stimulates insulin secretion in a dose dependent fashion thereby possibly aggravating reactive hypoglycemia ("low blood sugar attacks").
Acesulfame K apparently produced lung tumors, breast tumors; rare types of tumors of other organs (such as the thymus gland), several forms of leukemia and chronic respiratory disease in several rodent studies, even when less than maximum doses were given. According to the Center for Science in the Public Interest, it was petitioned on August 29, l988 for a stay of approval by the FDA because of "significant doubt" about its safety.
Dr. H.J. Roberts, Aspartame (NutraSweet) Is It Safe? Charles Press, page 283/84.

Aspartame
Aspartame, a dipeptide of aspartic acid and a methyl ester of phenylalanine, is approved for use in pharmaceutical products and is being used increasingly in chewable tablet and sugar-free formulations. Labels for both prescription and nonprescription products must include the phenylalanine content. The major consideration in the use of aspartame in children is in patients with autosomal recessive phenylketonuria. Although heterozygotes do not appear to have clinically significant increases in phenylalanine after ingestion of even large amounts (equivalent to 24 12-oz cans of diet beverages), homozygotes with strict dietary restrictions should avoid aspartame. Children without dietary restrictions could safely ingest 10 mg/kg/d. [37-40]. Dietary consumption of aspartame is typically less than 5 mg/kg/d[41]; young children, however, could ingest considerably more. For example, a 2-year-old child weighing 12 kg consumes 17 mg/kg from drinking one 12-oz can of diet soda and one serving of a sweetened product (eg, cereal, pudding, gelatin, or frozen dessert).
Headache is the most common adverse side effect attributed to aspartame but is seldom confirmed by single-dose double-blind challenge. Up to 11% of patients with chronic migraine headaches reported headaches triggered by aspartame; however, a double-blind challenge with three doses of 10 mg/kg given every 2 hours triggered no more headaches than did placebos in patients with vascular headaches believed to be exacerbated by aspartame. A small, double-blind 4-week trial showed an increase in frequency of headaches after ingestion of 1200 mg/d, indicating that a longer challenge period may be necessary.
In anecdotal reports, aspartame has been linked to various neuropsychiatric disorders, including panic attacks, mood changes, visual hallucinations, manic episodes, and isolated dizziness. A small, double-blind crossover study of patients with major depression revealed a higher incidence of reactions in these patients compared with nondepressed volunteers after administration of 30 mg/kg for 7 days; symptoms included headache, nervousness, dizziness, memory impairment, nausea, temper outbursts, and depression. None of these conditions has been rigorously proven to be caused by aspartame, but carefully conducted double-blind challenges may be indicated in patients with histories that suggest aspartame as a cause. Patients with underlying mitral valve prolapse or affective disorders may be at increased risk for neuropsychiatric effects; several studies have shown that individuals without psychiatric or seizure disorders do not demonstrate these effects.
Seizures have been reported via passive surveillance data collected by the FDA and in a few case reports. A recent analysis of FDA reports showed 41 cases of rechallenge with a temporal relationship to aspartame consumption. Most seizures occurred in patients who had an acceptable dietary intake, except for a 16-year-old who ingested up to 57 mg/kg of aspartame. Aspartame is generally considered safe for children with epilepsy. One study found increased spike-wave discharges in children with untreated absence seizures after a high dose of aspartame and suggested that children with poorly controlled absence seizures avoid aspartame.
Saccharin
Foods containing saccharin no longer carry a label stating that the "use of this product may be hazardous to your health ...contains saccharin which has been determined to cause cancer in laboratory animals." This warning was lifted in 2001 by the American FDA as saccharin no longer has been connected to cancer in human beings.
Saccharin may be present in drugs in substantial amounts. Ingestion of the recommended daily dosage of chewable aspirin or acetaminophen tablets in a school-age child would provide approximately the same amount of saccharin contained in one can of a diet soft drink. This amount, relative to the body weight of a child younger than 9 or 10 years, ingested for prolonged periods would be considered as "heavy use," as defined in a major large-scale FDA/National Cancer Institute epidemiologic study. In this study, heavy use of artificial sweeteners was associated with a significantly increased risk for the development of bladder cancer. An independent review of this study concluded that there was no association. An investigation of saccharin performed by the American Medical Association in 1985 concluded that bladder changes were species-specific, were confined to the second generation of male rats, and occurred in association with large doses (equivalent to several hundred cans of diet soft drink per day). The no-effect level was equivalent to 500 mg/kg/d.[68, 69] Saccharin is not genotoxic; the presumed mechanism of toxicity is the binding of saccharin to urinary proteins (not normally found in humans), creating a nidus for the formation of silicate crystals, which are cytotoxic to bladder epithelium.
Saccharin is an O-toluene sulfonamide derivative and causes similar dermatologic reactions. Cross-sensitivity with sulfonamides has been demonstrated; therefore, children with "sulfa" allergy should also avoid saccharin. Hypersensitivity can usually be confirmed by a radioallergosorbent test for saccharin. In a series of 42 patients with adverse effects resulting from consumption of saccharin in pharmaceutical agents, pruritus and urticaria were the most common reactions, followed by eczema, photosensitivity, and prurigo. Other reactions include wheezing, nausea, diarrhea, tongue blisters, tachycardia, fixed eruptions, headache, diuresis, and sensory neuropathy.
Ingestion of saccharin-adulterated milk formula by infants was associated with irritability, hypertonia, insomnia, opisthotonos, and strabismus, which resolved within 36 hours after ingestion. Two anecdotal reports of an accidental overdose in an adult and a child discussed reactions of generalized edema, oliguria, and persistent albuminuria. Because of the paucity of data on the toxicity of saccharin in children, the American Medical
Association has recommended limiting the intake of saccharin in young children and pregnant women.

Sugar… Aww Honey, Honey…

2009-05-11T21:18:00.003-04:00

Sugar… Aww Honey, Honey…

How Sweetness can is bad (Part I):

Artificial Sweeteners

The next few posts will explain why I choose to eat raw sugar and natural sweeteners (and take the calories) over the manufactured stuff. Five artificial sweeteners are approved by the Food and Drug Administration: aspartame, saccharin, acesulfame-K, neotame, and sucralose. The agency regulates artificial sweeteners as food additives, which must be approved as safe before they can be marketed.

"The FDA evaluates a sweetener's composition and properties, how much of the substance is likely to be consumed, and various types of safety studies," says Laura Tarantino, Ph.D., director of the Office of Food Additive Safety in the FDA's Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition.

For each of the approved sweeteners, the typical amount used by U.S. consumers is well within designated "acceptable daily intake levels (ADI)," or levels that can be consumed safely every day over a lifetime. Here's a detailed look at each of the sweeteners.

Aspartame is 200 times sweeter than sugar. It has a caloric value similar to sugar (4 kcal/g), but the amounts used are small enough to consider aspartame essentially free of calories. Brand names include NutraSweet and Equal. Aspartame was first approved by the FDA in 1981 as a tabletop sweetener, and for use in gum, breakfast cereal, and other dry products. The use of aspartame was expanded to sodas in 1983, and then to use as a general-purpose sweetener in all foods and drinks in 1996.

Before approval, the FDA reviewed numerous studies showing that aspartame did not cause cancer or other adverse effects in laboratory animals. "This included three studies in which rats were fed aspartame in proportions more than 100 times higher than humans would likely consume.

Science costs money, and who you know: The FDA's federal budget request for 2008 totaled $2.1 billion, a $105.8 million increase from what it received in 2007.

FDA is also funded by user fees submitted with New Drug Applications under the Prescription Drug User Fee Act (PDUFA) in which the industry pays a fee for the review of the new product. A similar process is used for medical devices under the Medical Device User Fee and Modernization Act (MDUFMA) and for animal drugs under a similar act.

Sweet choices: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved five low-calorie sweeteners for use in a variety of foods. The FDA has established an "acceptable daily intake" (ADI) for each sweetener. This is the maximum amount considered safe to consume each day if your normal body weight should be at least 150 lbs.

Artificial sweetener	ADI*	Estimated ADI equivalent**	OK for cooking?
Aspartame (NutraSweet, Equal)	50 milligrams (mg) per kilogram (kg)	18 to 19 cans of diet cola	No
Saccharin (Sweet'N Low, SugarTwin)	5 mg per kg	9 to 12 packets of sweetener	Yes
Acesulfame K (Sunett, Sweet One)	15 mg per kg	30 to 32 cans of diet lemon-lime soda***	Yes
Sucralose (Splenda)	5 mg per kg	6 cans of diet cola***	Yes
Neotame	18 mg a day	No consumer products available yet in the U.S.	Yes

*FDA-established acceptable daily intake (ADI) limit per kilogram (2.2 pounds) of body weight.
**Product-consumption equivalent for a 150-pound person.
***These products usually contain more than one type of sweetener.

Be careful when choosing artificial sweeteners, such as aspartamane, sucrolose and malitol. Many are safe, but some artificial sweeteners have been linked to increased cancer risk. Limit your use of them. The unfortunate reality is that many artificial sweeteners were at first thought to be healthy, but studies later indicated that they may have serious health consequences. Most of these tests have been inconclusive, most have not been conducted with humans and further studies are ongoing. But if there is a question about a sweetener's side effects, you are, in effect, playing the role of guinea pig until more conclusive evidence surfaces. If you're concerned about artificial sweeteners, opt for natural alternatives.

Good "Stand by Me Video"

2009-05-11T20:57:00.002-04:00

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2539741

A Friend sent this to me a while back, enjoyed it, thought I'd share~ Thanks.

2009-05-09T10:17:00.000-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to everyone this weekend!
I Love You Mom!

MOTHERS

Real Mothers don't eat quiche;
they don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what
the vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'
and get their answer when a little
voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth
is not measured by height or years or grade...
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother...

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion..

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she
carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
because that is the doorway to her heart,
the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she
shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

My mother is truely all of this and is the most beautiful woman I know!
Thanks Mom.

Making Yourself Available?

2009-05-07T22:06:00.003-04:00

This has come up lately from several conversations and is a counseling topic to think about:

Some people just don’t seem to get it, do they? Don’t you just love it when someone of the opposite sex contacts your spouse or significant other on My Space, Tagged, Face book, or another Social Site, fishing for clues?

Obviously the profile may say, “Married.” Does it really matter? Then the other person will go fishing, and say something like, “Oh your wife seems like a nice person or a pretty woman” etc.

Will your spouse realize they are fishing? If so, and s/he loves you will respond with, “Yes, she is remarkable, beautiful, great sense of humor, and I really love her… in fact never want to live without her.

Better yet he could just delete the mail, and block the person to send a clearer message that he is not interested.

Then there is the “yuck” response s/he could say like, “She must be pretty good to put up with me all these years.” He could also say something lame like, “yeah, we’ve been together many years.” Of course then he might as well be caught hook, line, and sinker by the new woman... because with those comments it’s like, “We’re going no where, and so what do you have to offer?”

So, are these spouses who respond to people on-line really ignorant of the play, or just selfish and inconsiderate to their spouse, or are they a player themselves?

There are spouses out there who are totally in love and have the utmost respect for their “better half.” That is what I’ve always wanted. Is it a fairy tale, make-believe, from watching too many love stories, or does it really exist?

A very wise man once told me, “You can’t be best friends with a woman unless you are in love with her.” He also said the only reason people get caught-up in affairs is because they make themselves available. The grass is always greener on the other side…

I think there are ways to have an affair (other than sexual acts). For example if you confide in someone other than your spouse, which in turn deceives your spouse.

Here are some examples:
• You hang on-line all day, instant messaging someone or E-mailing back a fourth you talk and have a good ole time… get nothing done around the house, and then your spouse comes home and you’re tired with nothing to say. Maybe you are bored with your spouse because you’ve stopped your line of communication from being infatuated with the other person on-line?

• You take a co-worker out to lunch several times a week and buy her lunch, you talk and become good friends; you can’t understand why your wife is upset about you spending your hard earned money on lunch---she’s just no fun any more.

• You talk on the phone with someone for thirty minutes, but not in front of your spouse; you ask them to call when the spouse is not home.

No harm done? The point is you’ve made yourself available! You have opened the door for more to happen between you and the other person… who leads to affairs, flings, and whatever else comes up.

Over reacting you say, think about it. The new attitude is, well it happens to everybody once in a while… Why does it have to?

We have choices to make each and every day. If you are bored with your significant other, talk to them about it. Try together, as a couple, to get back what you fell in love with originally. What was that special little something you fell for in her/him? Don’t make the choice of making yourself available to someone else on-line, in E-mail, at work, or lunch… only to have it lead to break-up for you and your spouse.

Make the choice to fight for what you fell in love with, do some of those things you once did together, send her/him a love note, a flower… Just because you’ve let things go doesn’t mean you can’t pick up the pieces again--- If you really want to.

Please, help me organize my child!

2009-03-17T21:18:00.001-04:00

Children with attention and organizational problems are more common now than ever before. In America each classroom has about four or five students considered to have ADHD symptoms. As a parent of these children you may sometime become frustrated and wonder what you can do to help him/her. It is more work on you in the beginning but will lesson the battle in the long run.

Unfortunately teachers have twenty to thirty students to work with on a daily basis. A teacher may have good intentions; it is just not feasible for her to have to organize your child. The task belongs to the parent; the teacher will usually be glad to assist you in any way possible.

Here are some tips on Organizing Your ADHD children/students:

See what you can do to help organize the child's environment. Use dividers and folders so he can easily find things. Teach him how to organize himself better. These are skills that he does not know, or are harder for him to do than the average child…and needs to learn.

Help the child to organize his written work or numbers. Allow the child to move a pencil or his finger across the page while reading. If he's writing, allow him to use one or two fingers for spacing between words. During math, graph paper may be very helpful to organize his numbers and columns.

Your child/student will function better when able to anticipate times requiring increased concentration. A visual representation of the day's schedule will provide another opportunity to internalize classroom routine. This is helpful at home too with posting routines on the refrigerator.

Completing school work and maintaining behavior during the school day can be exhausting experiences. Large homework loads on a regular basis can become discouraging for him and very stressful for the parent involved. Attempt to break down long-term assignments into steps to lessen your child’s feeling overwhelmed. Emphasize practice and assignment completion on the word processor to lower the frustration many students feel with written work.

Model an organized way of life, and model the strategies you use to cope with disorganization.

Establish a daily routine and schedule. Show that you value organization or reinforce organization by having a "room fairy" that gives a daily award for the most organized room, or back pack.

Use individual assignment charts, pads, or envelopes that can go home with the child to be signed daily by parents if necessary. Develop a clear system for keeping track of completed and uncompleted work.

Develop a color coding method for your child in which each subject is associated with a certain color that is the subject’s textbook cover and on the folder or workbook for that subject.

Develop a reward system for in-school work and homework completion. One example of a system that reinforces both work quality and work quantity involves translating points earned into "dollars" to be used at the end of grading period. For children needing more immediate reinforcement, each completed assignment could earn the child a small reward at the end of the week.

Write a schedule and timeline on your child’s bedroom door to provide due dates for assignments each day. Divide longer assignments into sections and provide due dates or times for the completion of each section.

Tape a checklist to the child's desk/door or put one in each subject folder/notebook that outlines the steps in following directions or checking to be sure an assignment is complete.

Make study guides or outlines of the content you want the child to learn, or let the child build her/his own study guide with worksheets that have been positively corrected and handed back at school.

Be clear about rules, and follow through with consequences. If you say it---do it. Nothing is worse on an ADHD child then not following through with your promises/consequences (good or bad).

Encouraged the child to utilize assignment sheets, broken down by day and subject. You can make these on your home computer and save them as you find they are working for your child. He can record assignments at the completion of each task.

An organizing time at the end of each day can be helpful to gather the necessary materials for the assignments and develop a plan of action for completion. This may sound simple; have the child lay his clothes out the night before so there are no added headaches prior to going to school.

Your child/student can become overwhelmed with floods of paper and be unable to find the needed materials. It is often helpful to carry only two work folders, one that contains work to be completed and one with work to be turned in to the teacher. Reviewing these work folders should become a regular part of the daily routine, with irrelevant work removed each day.

Some students now take a small dose of their medication when they come home from school to aid in studying/homework completion. Check with the doctor about the time period of maximum medication effectiveness to help set-up a sensible homework schedule.

Quite often, variability in work performance will be related to the teacher's style and your student's temperament. Teachers tend to instruct using their own preferential learning style. Sequential teachers may help by providing more structure for him but the teacher may become frustrated with his disorganization and behavior. Random teachers, while not providing external structure, may be more likely to utilize flexibility in adjusting to his needs. Attempt to place your student with teachers who have similar styles that have proven effective for their particular needs. Some teachers have received training in dealing with students with attention problems that would make them a particularly effective resource.

One of the simplest interventions with the most power is to have an extra set of textbooks at home to minimize the problem of not having the necessary homework materials. Most schools will be glad to accommodate this (if they have extra at school).

Since fine motor activities and spelling can be a problem, consider a major emphasis on using a word processor at an early age. Software to practice keyboarding should have stimulating graphics to motivate their use. Using a "spell check" program is critical.

Along with the "executive process" of organizing for homework, a daily check-in time can be helpful in preparing for a successful day or evening. Checking the child’s homework, communicating changes in the daily schedule, can ease stress in ADHD children.

Your student should have a regularly scheduled time for cleaning his desk at least once a week. This will improve his ability to find his materials. It may, however, require the assistance/instruction of an adult to make this a successful experience; likewise a regularly scheduled time to clean his room at home. You may actually help him at this task until he gets a pattern of doing it correctly himself. This may require you to go to the school and check the desk or cubby every week until the routine is established.

Comments that sting from well meaning; ignorant people who really have no clue.

2009-02-21T19:53:00.004-05:00

Believe it or not, I teach by choice; I love the little people I work with daily, and feel compassionate that their choices can make this world a better place. They are going to need a solid foundation in understanding to make those informed choices.

I heard a comment on the radio the other day and it was one of those “wow, they are really ignorant” moments. The woman was on a talk show saying how “lucky” teachers are to get paid summer vacations, and she wished she had a job as easy and with so many days off.

I was kind of stunned at how stupid that sounded… Are there still people out in the real world who believe teachers have it made in their cushy jobs because they are off every day children are, and get paid all year long?

What a hoot! You really do have to feel sorry for people who have no clue about the real world don’t you? At least make an effort to find out the facts before making comments on the radio about something you really have no clue about…Jee wiz.

Teachers really do teach for the love of the children or they won’t last very long in the profession.

The truth about teachers is the following; please keep in mind it may vary from county-to-county, and state-to-state:

· Get paid for working 7.25 hours a day, 187 days a year (only)

· No paid holidays

· No bonus’

· Insurance—not the greatest, must pay for own dental and vision

· Must pay for most school supplies out of own pocket, includes your own soap and supplies for children who don’t have parents to buy their supplies

· Must donate extra hours working at home on lesson plans

· Must donate extra hours conferencing with parents before and after school

· Usually uses his/her off days recuperating from an illness that 24 coughing, sneezing, or ill children gave them

· Does lice checks, takes temperatures etc…(most schools have NO school nurse)

· Is the only profession I know of that is not reimbursed financially for the continuing education required

· Expected to teach children the things that were once taught at home in addition to academics

· Paperwork out the wazoo for special students and misc. requirements

· Approximate pay scale begins at only $24000, and in many places needs a Master’s degree to teach

· Usually suffer from feet, back, and stomach issues and usually can’t teach past the age of 60 on a daily basis due to some type of ailment.

Most teachers make ends meet because they are married to someone who makes a decent living. Teachers are not the only low paying helping profession out there; look at social workers.

Why do we as a society treat the helping professions so poorly? Is it because we know the people in those professions love children, and people, and helping others so they’ll do it any way?

It is true I made more money as a manager at an ice cream store then I do as a teacher at a public elementary school. Where does that say our American priorities are?

What can we do about it?

I think some people have forgotten that the parent is responsible for educating their own child. The teacher is to assist the parent in this endeavor by providing a free, appropriate education in the public school system. Our society has gotten to the point of expecting everything handed to us for free; some parents even sue the public education system for not doing “this or that” for their child. How has it gotten this far? With the exception of abuse, most of these lawsuits should not even make it to court.

I work in the same building, with about 30 other (helping profession) people just like me who would give their eye teeth to help a child (and just about do). They are some of the best, most caring people you would ever want to meet. Despite the poor economics and budget cuts making everything more difficult we have decide to stick with it for the sake of the children.

Afraid to Eat Out because it will blow your diet? Try these tips:

2009-01-31T18:32:00.005-05:00

* Eat early, eat often. Remember this old saying: breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, dinner like a pauper. Starting your day with a healthy breakfast, can jump start your metabolism. Likewise, “grazing” on healthful snacks like fruits, veggies and protein-packed almonds, and eating 6 small, healthful meals throughout the day, rather than the standard 3 large ones, can help keep your metabolism going and ward off snack attacks.

* Be extra careful when eating out. No matter how healthy your diet, you need to eat less to lose weight. This means practicing portion control. At restaurants, eat only half your meal and take the rest home. It’s fine to ask for the to-go box when your meal arrives, and divide it in the beginning so you won’t be tempted to over do it. Also watch out for condiments, dressings, soft drinks, and sweet tea which are common culprits for hidden calories.

* Good Choices when eating out. Look for "heart healthy" symbols on the menu. Ask for calorie and fat information on menu items. If you ask, chefs will often make low-fat entrees using low-cholesterol eggs or lean cuts of meat. You can ask for: skinless chicken, no butter on a particular dish, broiled instead of fried, and your sauces to be served on the side. There are some restaurants that let you order smaller portions at lower prices. When my mother and I eat at Red Lobster (for example) we order off the fresh catch or chef special menu. They usually have grilled salmon or grilled trout with broccoli, salad, and a side. We order the lunch portion…

* Look for key words when thinking Healthy eating: Baked, broiled, poached, grilled, raw, and fresh, steamed, tossed, whole-grain, plain, stewed, roasted, and lean.

* Eat Slowly. Savor what you eat…really think about the flavors. Before you even order think about what tastes you are in the mood for, so you can be better satisfied at the end of the meal. If you are craving something…get it, and eat it in moderation.

* Share your food. I really like to eat with Mom;if we are at a place that serves a really large portion we split the meal and ask for two plates. If you’re not eating with a partner or s/he doesn’t like to share food try another idea. Have the waiter bring a doggie bag with the meal and split it up immediately so you don’t start “talking” and forget what your eating…causing “pig-out.”

Soda, Pop, Cola: The Secret Diet Devil

2009-01-31T16:46:00.005-05:00

According to The Center for Science in the Public Interest, soft drinks are the single biggest source of calories in the American diet, providing about 7 percent of calories. One can of soda pop contains between 10-12 teaspoons of refined sugar and around 150-180 calories per serving, so a few soft drinks can quickly add up to a good portion of your daily calorie intake. Some people drink more calories than they eat in a day’s time.

Cutting out soft drinks may be an easy way to help you lose some extra weight. Try switching to water with lemon, unsweetened iced tea, or an occasional spritzer made with a touch of juice (juice contains a lot of calories, so use just a taste) and carbonated water.
What about the diet soda dilemma? I believe people are fooling their self into thinking they are doing good in drinking diet soda. Sure, they are cutting calories by drinking diet soda, but could be damaging their bodies even more in other ways by have diet items in their diet plan. I will hit on this more next time.

More things we are doing for a Healthier Lifestyle

2009-01-08T19:59:00.001-05:00

Eating and drinking tips

Focus on fruits and veggies. The high water and fiber content in many fruits and vegetables make them great candidates for healthy snacking and incorporation into meals. Try adding veggies to your favorite main courses (made from lean meats and whole grains) to make your dish “go” further. In addition, the vitamins and nutrients in fruits and vegetables can help your overall health and vitality. You may have seen these choppers advertised on T.V. That is great ideas for adding fruits and veggies to foods like casseroles, pizzas, etc that normally don’t have veggies as part of the meal.
Give up added sugars, and refined sugars like sweets, deserts, candies, and soda. I have given up sweets for 90 days to allow my body to adjust to the habit of going without sweets again. I believe it is better to eat raw sugar than to eat artificial sweeteners (and I’ll get into that later).
Give up fried foods, this was easy for me as I rarely eat fried foods anyway; but I do realize this could be a big obstacle for some. Healthy oil is good for our bodies and we need healthy fats in our system. A chemical change happens to oil when you heat it to the smoking point, and the oil will lose its healthy properties. Most experts suggest to wet-sauté` foods instead of frying them. Simply layers the bottom of the pan with water, put the food in the pan cook to the desired texture, and add some oil and sauté. Some good oils for cooking are: real butter, peanut oil, sunflower oil, safflower oil, sesame oils, and olive oil. We always keep olive oil on hand.
Eat more protein. Protein keeps you full longer than carbohydrates. It also takes more energy to metabolize protein than carbohydrates, so you burn more calories after eating it. I am not an advocate for these diets that have you give up carbohydrates. I do believe humans need all the basic food groups for a healthy balance. However, those high protein diets can be good to jumpstart a new program for you.
Fill up on fiber. Fiber makes you feel fuller faster, so it’s a great idea to choose foods that are packing a good fiber punch. Fiber will also help digestion, allowing you to process what you eat in a healthier way.
Choose “low density” foods. Foods that allow you to eat larger portion sizes with lower calories are considered low density. These foods (including many fruits and vegetables) tend to contain more water and fiber. Try starting your meal with a low-density salad or soup (just watch the dressings and sodium) to help fill you up, so you will eat less of your entrée.
Drink lots of water. Not drinking enough water makes your body hold on to the water it has – resulting in extra “water weight.” Thirst can also be confused with hunger, so by drinking water, you may avoid consuming extra calories. I think the cheapest/healthiest way to get water is to buy a water filter for your kitchen faucet. If you are someone who can’t stand plain water, try putting a squeeze of lime in the water, or drink a sparkling mineral water. If the fizz is too much add some regular filtered water to the carbonated water.

2009-01-04T01:44:00.004-05:00

Healthy Life Style and possible weight loss… Watch and learn how.

My friend and I are starting a new healthy lifestyle. Not that we were unhealthy before; we had slipped a little in the past few years. I know what to do, but became a little lazy with the abnormal stress I had been under. I plan on keeping you posted here as to our progress while letting you know what we are doing to better our lives by getting back in balance.

To me "balance" incorporates different aspects of our life that are required to create a whole complete person: mental (peace of mind), physical (body), emotional (How we handle actions and reactions of what is going on around us), and I believe all of this is a direct result of us as a spiritual being. I am going to start with "physical" because as people see results physically they become encouraged and motivated to try more.

I am in my forties; and most of my friends are in their fifties. So we are faced with different life challenges that may accompany our age groups. Therefore, we are not implementing everything at once; every week or two we are adding one or two of the ideas to our life. Here are some goals we are working on together:

Get plenty of exercise. We have decided to "walk." Walking is great and we can talk to each other as we walk to better our relationship. We also chose walking as opposed to other types of exercise due to some joint/health issues. Exercise is a dieter's best friend! It not only burns calories, but can actually improve your resting metabolism. No time for a long workout? Do what you can; even 10 minute intervals are better than no exercise. We bought a little pedometer to clip on our belt that shows number of steps, and translates that into miles. Our goal is to walk an average of three miles each day (including daily work, and any exercise we can get in)
Get proper sleep. People not getting enough sleep have a much higher risk of obesity. Exhaustion can make you feel hungrier, and impair your judgment. Eight hours of good sleep a night is a good goal to shoot for.
Turn off the TV. You actually burn less calories watching television than you do sleeping. Your brain will become sluggish from watching television if you are not engaged. If you just can't give it up… do easy exercises like squats, sit-ups, jogging in place, use resistance bands, hand weights, treadmill, or ride the stationary bike. We don't have the equipment or the space for equipment, so we are turning the T.V. off.
Go shopping when you are not hungry. Create a shopping list, stick to it, and don't buy the junk food. Store tempting foods for others in the family in cabinets or drawers out of your sight.
Plan your meals and snacks ahead of time. Eat in moderation, healthy meals, and eat when are truly hungry.
Lose weight slowly. When you drop a lot of weight quickly, you're actually losing mostly water and muscle rather than fat. Fast weight loss can take a toll on your nerves, and reduce your energy enough to feel sick and reduce your immune system. Aim to lose 1-2 lbs a week to ensure healthy weight loss.

Check back soon for the rest of the story as I will be keeping you updated on a regular basis.

Funny Puppy

2009-01-02T15:47:00.001-05:00